The most common cause of homelessness is “friends or family no longer willing to accommodate” and this is true nationally, and not just in our borough.
This week, we have had several young people present to us, either with or without their parents, looking for our support through a challenging time, and as my eldest turned 18 this week, I have never felt closer to understanding this.
He is bright, kind, funny, headstrong, arrogant, entitled and autistic. He can be infuriating or charming on the flip of a coin, and neurodiverse or not, I feel I could be describing how many parents feel about their freshly “adult”-ed children.
The transition is painful and sudden, you can feel as if your “rights” as a parent have been ripped away, and when coupled with the young person’s desire to assert their adulthood, live into their independence and seize the autonomy of a legal status granted to them by the passage of time, there are going to be moments of conflict.
In a housing market where “affordable” private rent, beyond a room in house, is out of reach for nearly all 18-25 year olds, there is no true, safe space for young adults to begin an independent life.
You can live at home with a family you’ve outgrown, or you can work full time (if you can find a job) and pay most of what you earn to live with another family. It’s no wonder resentment bubbles to the surface, but what are we actually resentful of?
I suggest it’s the disconnect between our genetic need to leave our families and the socio-economic conditions that make it impossible.
There is no easy solution to this, which is why KCAH exists, we sit in the place of hard choices every day, but if I had one simplistic idea for how to end homelessness, it would be to employ patience and kindness, understand each other, even when tempers flare and things are said that can’t be unsaid. We must stay patient, stay kind, and know that this too shall pass.
